First blog post

My intention behind this blog is multi purpose as I hope to promote our business, prove that I am not a complete dinosaur & can master blogging, social media & all the other internet related things that scare me & at the same time have an opportunity to vent my spleen about the things that quite frankly make me grumpy.

I will be more than happy to exchange views with like minded curmudgeons & look forward to putting the world to right.


Not Smoking, Death & Hangovers from Hell

Well here I am again & made it to 2018 (only just) & we are that time of year again when smokers are supposed to attempt to give up.

My memory is a bit hazy but I now think that it is 8 years since I smoked a cigarette but even now, the desire to smoke has not completely gone away & at moments of stress, that little devil on my shoulder says “go on have a smoke it won’t kill you”.  The only trouble is that I know that it probably would as it was my 60 a day habit that caused the stroke that I was incredibly fortunate to survive from & changed my life forever.  So I really feel for those attempting to give up by willpower alone as I am certain that I would not have succeeded without a very real fear of death as my motivation.

Thankfully, there are now a number of more effective options to help you quit than there were 8 years ago & the one that impresses me most at the moment is the new Jem starter kit from Innokin which I really wish had been around when I was trying to give up! Have also been testing something called the Aspire Gusto Mini which uses prefilled cartridges from Elements containing e juices with nicotine salts. Whilst I don’t like prefilled cartridges & have no intention of attempting to explain the science behind nicotine salts here,  it gives a pretty impressive nicotine hit that actually made me dizzy. Expect to see them in store soon.

For those of you that really can’t give up tobacco, there is a lower risk alternative that heats the tobacco to create a vapour as opposed to combustion which is what creates most of the nasty chemicals that we know kill us & that is IQOS . Many pundits are forecasting that this heat not burn technology will be the end for traditional cigarettes. Well worth a look if you are still smoking but concerned about your health.

On New Years Eve I took what I thought was the sensible option & spent the evening at my friend Jo’s house with a few of her friends, as opposed to my local or several parties that I had been invited to.

What a mistake that turned out to be!!!! I was introduced to a game called Prosecco pong which is OK as nobody can kill me with Prosecco but soon the Prosecco was swapped for some horrendous concoction that probably could kill me, especially as I proved to be particularly unskilled in this game, which resulted in having to neck industrial quantities of the stuff. It was at this point that I was introduced to caramel vodka which as it seemed like nectar from the gods, needed to be consumed in large quantities.   #irresponsibledrinking. I am far too old to wake up in strange places not knowing who I was or why I was feeling like death! It was the 4th day of 2018 before being hangover free. #neverdrinkingagain

It sort of blew my claim out of the water, that I didn’t need to make any new year resolutions as I was already very nearly perfect.

Coincidently, the person that I am blaming for my hangover from hell is joining the Ecigjuiced team this month & those of you that are fed up with my ugly mug, will be able to talk to the only slightly more attractive Jo.

Only joking!  This isn’t Jo as she wouldn’t let me take any pictures of her so I had to steal this from the internet 🙂  (Obviously Jo is far more attractive than this)

Good luck with your new years resolutions & I am now off to see if I can source an Alka Seltzer e juice to vape in times of near death instead of my go to Creamy Biscuit from Sluice Juice



Bah Humbug, SSL Security, Pointless Legislation & Google

I am going to start by admitting that I hate bloody Christmas nearly as much as I hate sodding Black Friday, Monday, Week or whatever else they try to relieve us of our hard earned with.

Anyway, Christmas hysteria is here & no matter how hard I try to escape it I can’t. So reluctantly I decided to make a half hearted attempt at decorating the shop with Christmassy type things & this is when I discovered that my ex partner hadn’t just cleared off with my now ex friend & a load of my personal belongings but had also actually taken the shop’s Christmas tree with her as well.  Well I suppose it saved me the trouble of hanging decorations off the bloody thing but it hasn’t improved my level of grumpiness or goodwill to all men! Maybe I should send the elves round to do a bit of debt collecting 🙂

The next thing on my grumpy radar is SSL security certification, which is actually something that along with 85% of other websites, I didn’t really understand or consider important until they started doing TV advertising saying that sites without a padlock thingy were undoubtedly scammers & to stay away. Well this turns out to be utter nonsense as we use PayPal for payments & I am assured that this is the most secure payment platform out there but thanks to Bloody Google nobody hangs around long enough to find this out as they have decided that our site is a scamming one long before they get to the incredibly secure payment bit.

Needless to say it’s all nonsense & after chucking a few bob at it we have a little padlock thingy on our website though I am completely bemused as to how it makes us any more secure.

Just prior to my SSL security issues, I had already bitten the bullet & integrated an age verification programme that ensured we met our legal obligation not to supply products to anybody under 18 years old. Whilst I have no problem with this legislation &  fully support it, I want to know what on earth made me attempt it at the same time as move house. Some bright spark said to me that the 2 most stressful things in life are moving house & divorce. Well let me tell you that as a man with 2 divorces behind him, I can assure you that they are an absolute doddle compared to my house move which was a complete & utter disaster from start to finish, & was not improved by the age verification stuff preventing anybody, even if they were 118 years old from purchasing anything.

It had been worrying me that I was rather slow in meeting this legal requirement but it would seem from doing a quick scoot around the market that I needn’t have bothered as approx 95% of sites are still relying on the cast iron method of asking you to tick a box confirming that you are 18+. Now it’s not very often that I feel holier than thou & am sure that it won’t be too long before my halo slips but in the meantime I’m going to bask in the light of my righteousness.

Now having moved into a 400 year old cottage which whilst very charming with exposed beams & low ceilings etc, is more than a bit challenging to keep warm &  just in time for the weather to turn bloody freezing, though I think that we may have just the solution on the shelves in the shop.

Which is the DOVPO M VV  unregulated MOD (this means that you need to know what you are doing or just very stupid/brave) that claims to chuck out 300w which should be more than enough power to heat up my cottage!

Anyway in the meantime I’m going to try out the new SMOK TFV12 PrinceTank with some of my favourite absolutely awesome Sluice Shot Creamy Biscuit which is sure to improve my mood.

Happy Bloody Christmas to you all.

Planning, Caramel Cappuccino & The Isle of Man

Well no posts for months & here I am penning my 2nd one in as many days. So what has got me bashing the keyboard this time? Being totally honest, I had forgotten how much stress relief that venting my spleen on the wider world provided even if you don’t bother to read it.

Strangely enough current my ire is primarily directed at myself for not planning my life or as I like to call it being spontaneous. However my spontaneity seems to mean that I end up going to the same pub all the time because anything else that I fancy doing is booked up. Until recently, I had just assumed this was a fact of life but there is a lady of my acquaintance that has been insidiously worming her way into my head by being one of the funniest & nicest people that I have ever met, which makes me want to spend time in her company but she is a bloody planner & has her life mapped out for weeks if not months in advance which means she goes out on pre-planned events & I get pissed in the pub.

Much is it pains me to admit this, something has to change & I fear that it is me.

Now onto coffee or to be more specific caramel cappuccino. Like many people I enjoy a cup of coffee & sometimes find it one of the only things that prevents me from dying after one of my bloody spontaneous visits to the pub. However, being a man of habit, coffee is only drunk at certain times of day or in specific circumstances but this comfortable way of life has been turned upside down by my latest vaping obsession.

BRWD Caramel Cappuccino is now in the shop but I am refusing to sell any of it as I want it all to myself but nearly as good there is also BRWD Blonde Espresso which I might just sell but only if I am not busily hiding behind huge clouds of strangely satisfying smoothy creamy caramel cappuccino so you have all been warned.

My life generally seems like one big challenge which is probably just as well as I thoroughly enjoy a good challenge & an extremely pleasant gentleman threw down gauntlet for me in the last hour or so by walking into the shop & when asked if he required any help answered with the following challenge “No my wife has gone next door & I’m just being nosey”

Well call me a visionary but all that I could see was

and in less than the 10 minutes that it took for his slightly irritated wife to come looking for him, I had learnt that they were just passing through as they lived on the Isle of Man & that I was highly unlikely to ever see them again but managed to relieve him of £130 for one of our amazing IQOS Heat not Burn Tobacco Products along with 100’s of Heets Tobacco Sticks to vaporise in it.

Judging by the look on his wife’s face he may not live long enough to get back to the Isle of Man & enjoy the longer life that he would hopefully have enjoyed by using a reduced risk tobacco product but then again he shouldn’t have thrown down a challenge to me.

Ok that’s enough for today & I’m off to plan a spontaneous hangover.

Grumpiness the world & everything

Some of you might have noticed that I have not posted anything for a long time & there have been a variety of reasons for this being the case, not the least of which has been that my partner in life & business for the last 14 years upped & left me without any explanation. Couple this with the fact that I have also been experiencing major issues with my health has meant that I have been far too grumpy to bother with inflicting my view on the world upon anybody.

Anyway, something happened today that set my grumpy antennae waggling so much that I felt the need to jump onto my PC & start blogging again but even that was nearly bloody impossible as this dammed site demanded that I carry out backups & multiple updates before it would let me type a single word. I seem to remember being told at some point that computers would make my life so much easier but all that they seem to do for me is send my blood pressure soaring & leave my head feeling like it is ready to explode!!!

Christ, if I had a cigarette here, I would start smoking again despite not having done so for over 8 years & at the moment I can only blame Bill Gates & his partners in crime for inflicting this level of stress on me. Oh & some customers!

Thankfully, no cigarettes here but I do have some of the IQOS heat not burn tobacco products here which amazingly provide the sensation, taste & nicotine hit that you would get from a real cigarette but they apparently don’t kill you as quickly as real cigarettes, so I am still going to be around for a long time to come, which is good as there are still a lot of people out there that I want to seriously piss off before I pop my clogs.

Since my last post, I have single handedly dealt with the fallout & nonsense inflicted on us by TPD regulations & experienced at 1st hand the consumer reaction to this ill thought out legislation that I am sure will cause a number of vape stores to decide that it is just not worth all the agg. The damm thing is so full of holes that you don’t need to be very creative to drive a coach & horses through it. Certainly, many internet suppliers don’t seem to think that it applies to them or if they do they just don’t care. You only have to jump on any of the vaping forums to see that many people are just buying directly from the Chinese who definitely don’t care.

Now to the internet customer that set me off on this rant. Having purchased a kit, this particular customer emailed us to inform us that the equipment did not work & that they wanted a full refund. Well as part of customer care mantra, we asked some basic questions to ensure that they had read the manual, charged, switched on & filled the product with a suitable e-juice. Back comes the reply saying that our instructions should make it much clearer that e cigarettes require e-juice to work & that having now put some in, everything was working fine.

Call me grumpy but in my view this is a bit like me buying a pint pot & wanting to send it back for a refund because it didn’t have any beer in it.

On that note, I am off to kick the dog.

The Meaning of Life, Fear & Telling the Time

Well I have sort of got used to my mobile phone now having a brain the size of a planet & a camera better than the dedicated camera that cost me mega bucks whilst pervading & attempting to run every aspect of my life. I am saying this as a dedicated avoider of all things Apple so God only knows how you poor souls that have bought into their nonsense feel.


Well why is this bothering you? I hear you ask. Well I am now concerned that e-cigarettes are also making an attempt to take over my life & which of these competing technologies is going to win the battle.  There have been various things that have sort of amused me in a sort of “Why the hell are you bothering” type of way like the iPhone case that contained an e-cigarette or various batteries with bluetooth connectivity but SMOK have launched a mainstream product that scares the living daylights out of me.

SMOK’s G-PRIV has a 2.4″ touchscreen that includes a clock & straightaway that removes 90% of the reason for carrying your mobile around with you which is to tell the time. It is capable of chucking out 220w which is enough power to heat a small house. More functions than you can shake a stick at & for crying out loud it even has sub menus! It records & can even control your puffs with all the info downloadable to your PC or dare I say it mobile phone & I even read about somebody claiming to keep all their vaping info in an Excel spreadsheet.


This all causes a real dichotomy for me as I bloody well hate my phone for attempting to take over my life & letting people that I don’t want to talk to call me whilst up until now I have loved my e-cigarettes for providing me with pure pleasure & some of them for their beauty (Lost Vape Therion) but there is now a real danger that I am going to end up bloody hating my e-cigarettes. Does this make me a Philistine as I know that the bloody things are going to be the latest must have that will fly off the shelves.

Scrums, Fatigue & Nonsense

I haven’t blogged anything for ages but quite frankly that has been because I have had diddly squat to say but now I can feel a need to vent my spleen or even share a few things that have tickled my funny bone so here we go.

On the spleen venting front I recently visited the Vaper Expo at the NEC in Birmingham on the trade day with the specific purpose of talking to potential new suppliers as well as saying hello to existing ones. Well that proved bloody impossible because the place was absolutely heaving with the general public mobbing every stand in search of free samples. Don’t get me wrong, I love the general public but not on a trade day & the organisers need a bloody good kicking for demanding that you bought proof of business with you & then performing absolutely no checks.

As I left the show the organisers sent me a Facebook message asking me to rate the show which they hopefully regretted doing as I was fairly forthright in my opinions but being slightly intrigued I clicked on the first profile that I saw of people also leaving reviews for the trade day & there in all his glory was somebody that fearlessly announced his job to be a “Checkout Operative” at Sainsburys. I am glad that he had a great time blagging freebies whilst I wasted my time trying to remember how to break down a scrum. Shall not be bothering with Vaper Expo again!


Since my last blog, I have become a deeply committed sub ohm cloud chaser & expanded my array of equipment to what even I admit to being ridiculous levels but it has also introduced a new problem to me that I had read about before but dismissed as total nonsense. I mean who could take something called “Flavour Fatigue” seriously, well as I have discovered it is real & juices that I absolutely adore suddenly taste of nothing in next to no time. As initially I did not believe in the concept, I spent a huge amount of wasted time cleaning tanks, changing coils & upgrading kit to no avail.


In future I am going to attempt not to be so cynical & believe some of what I read which leads me nicely into an article that I read in the Guardian Newspaper which reported on research that suggested that vaping could prevent ex smokers piling on the pounds. Whilst not really being in a position to prove or disprove this suggestion, I am going to go with this one & embrace it wholeheartedly whilst vaping on my new favourite juice which tastes so good that you feel that you must be piling on the pounds just by smelling it let alone vaping it. Right now I am keeping this one to myself but very soon we will have Sluice Juices in stock & their Creamy Biscuit is astonishingly gratifying to vape & quite how they make you think that you are vaping a digestive biscuit smothered in light vanilla cream with a gentle caramel aftertaste is beyond me. In fairness the rest of their range is pretty impressive but this is a real standout juice that should have some of the big names quaking in their boots. I am rationing myself on this one in order to delay the onset of bloody flavour fatigue.

Does this story have a moral to it? Well maybe it’s vape away to your hearts content on the fattest most calorific tasting juices that you can find & lose weight or is this too good to be true? Well as I was wrong about flavour fatigue I am going to believe in this one & bugger WeightWatchers.


I am going to finish off with a little tale about the relevance to customer care to customer retention & repeat business. Now I can hear you all saying why is he bloody preaching to the converted but I promise you that there are some unenlightened individuals out there so strap yourselves in for this one. On one of my rare visits to the shop, the incredibly patient & nearly vegetarian Stacey Dunne was not indulging in yoga but doing something else incredibly important & asked (told) me to help a lost looking individual who had just wandered in to the shop.

On being asked if he needed any help, he informed me that he was looking for some juice. I asked if he had anything particular in mind & told him that he was free to try any of our juices which were all out in sample tanks. He appeared most surprised by this but soon started vaping away before he got to the Kiberry Yogurt from Kilo & said how much is this? Well he grimaced & took a step back when I said £16.99 for 30ml but I was not going to be put off by such a miserly display & asked him what he currently vaped. His answer was priceless as he did not know what it was called but it was £20 for 3 x 30ml bottles & he was shocked by £16.99 for 1 x 30ml. With a bit of pushing I learnt that of the 3 bottles he had purchased elsewhere that 2 were unopened & the 3rd was still nearly full as he didn’t like it but he asked me to try it & see what I thought. Well whilst I would never openly knock our competition my face must have said it all as it was the most rank juice that I had ever tasted including the shit that used to come from China back in the early days. All that I could say was didn’t you try it before you purchased it?

Now this is where it gets really special. Apparently he did ask if he could try it first but was given the following reply “If you go into a tobacconists you don’t ask if you can smoke a fag before you buy a packet do you”

I genuinely thought that the guy was pulling me leg but apparently not & when I stopped laughing I relieved him of £16.99 & a promise that he would be back soon with his wife as well as telling all his friends about us.

There endeth the lesson.

Health & Safety Warning

Do not ever drop your fully loaded Lost Vape Therion on your big toe whilst not wearing shoes or socks. Not only is it pretty damn stupid but it hurts like buggery


Never Look A Gift Persian Rug In The Mouth

STOPTOBER is just about upon us again but with one crucial difference this year. Thanks to Eurotwaddle or should I say TPD (Tobacco Products Directive) we are not allowed tell the great British Public that we could help them give up smoking despite the huge amount of research coming out almost daily confirming that e-cigarettes are massively better for you than tobacco & extremely effective being at least as successful as other NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapies).  Well done Brussels for condemning more people to die early unnecessarily. You probably deserve a big fat pension & a pat on the back for helping out the big tobacco & pharma companies! You may have guessed that this makes me angry & grumpy but F**K them we are going to advertise with the message that we are not allowed to tell them how we can help & hope that we are prosecuted because the resulting PR would be worth mega bucks.

Now that I am on a roll I am going to get onto the number of people that have visited our shop asking for help after having been elsewhere & sold totally unsuitable products for their needs. It has almost become an epidemic of people wanting to give up smoking that have been sold sub ohm equipment & whilst having become a recent convert myself, I know that sub ohming is something to possibly progress to but for most is definitely not a suitable starting point to give up smoking with.

I am an absolutely passionate believer in the benefits of vaping & absolutely loath & abhor the lazy & damaging sales methods employed by some sectors of the industry that I love. I know that there will be a shake out & eventually the quick buck merchants will go but will you bloody well hurry up before we start being likened to 2nd hand car sales or heaven forbid estate agents.

estate-agent arthur

As previously stated I have recently become a sub ohm convert after 5 odd years of indulging in what I called proper vaping or just trying to replicate what I got out of smoking the cigarettes that bloody nearly killed me (well they might have been helped along by too much booze as well but the 2 went hand in hand). Well a whole new world of flavours & silly amounts of vapour has opened up to me though I can’t help but keep thinking that I am far too old to take part in what is predominantly a young persons pleasure but sod it there is no law that says I have to cover myself in tattoos, pierce my body in strange places, have the arse of my trousers hang below my knees or wear a ridiculous baseball hat back to front but who knows maybe I will.


The ever so slightly chilled Stacey (after her weeks yoga retreat but more of that another day) has been frowning a great deal about the additional kit added to my already significant collection in order that I can now also indulge in sub ohm vaping & she may have a point as when we go out now my pockets are so full of vaping paraphernalia that I am frightened to lean in any direction in case I topple over & am unable to get up again.

However there may be a solution other than designing a jacket that also doubles up as a shed & that is the SMOK Vape Pen 22 which is a very small all in one sub ohm piece of kit that it is incredibly simple to use as it has no controls other than a a fire button but provides awesome flavour & huge clouds of vapour for less than a score or £19.99 for those of you that that don’t speak cockney. Basically idiot proof & inexpensive yet offering a performance that many setups 3 or 4 times its price would be jealous of. Charge, fill & make clouds it can’t get much simpler than that!

SMOK are on a roll at the moment as most of what they bring out nails it especially the TFV8 Cloud Beast tank which our cloud chasers love & soon I know that I am going to get brave enough to add to my collection.

Without a shadow of doubt the choice of high VG juices for sub ohm use is mind boggling & many of them I will never get on with as I am clearly a Philistine when it comes to this sort of thing but some are just so good that at the moment I can’t see the point in looking anywhere else (my opinion only) & they are Menage A Trois from Ruthless & Kiberry Yogurt from Kilo

Finally just a quick diversion onto things that make me chuckle as opposed to being grumpy & the other day we had a man poke his head round the door & ask if we knew where he could get a Persian rug cleaned. Now even I was struggling at this point to see a way of getting this guy to open his wallet in our vape shop but ever the optimist I invited him in & said there was a dry cleaners in Cheltenham that might just be able to help him & was he a vaper?  No he said but asked me what I was vaping which I explained was my goto Purity Tribeca to which he asked if I vaped other things?  Like what I asked? which caused much shuffling of feet & nervous looking around before he said herbs. What like Rosemary or Oregano I said feeling rather mischievous. No he said you know other herbs. So anyway long story short he came in asking about Persian rug cleaning & left with a couple of old & dusty  M3 Dry Herb Clearos that had been hidden at the back of the stockroom for years as result of one of my less enlightened purchasing decisions. Presumably he was going to pay a visit to the nearest herb supplier on his way to the dry cleaners with his Persian rug.



Chicken Armageddon, Responsible Journalism & The Sun

Readers of my blog will already be aware of Eric the shop dog & incredibly stupid springer spaniel whose normal role is to wag his tail at customers & growl at anybody that might have a role in enforcing TPD regulations but over the bank holiday weekend & without these roles to play, he decided other activities were in order.

Our immediate neighbours were away on holiday & had asked us to take care of their many (is that a flock?) free range chickens which actually just consisted of throwing a bit of feed around & opening or closing coops but Eric wanted in on this & proudly cleared a 5 odd foot fence to catch the chickens & bring them back over the fence to proudly drop them at my feet. Now whilst he actually did no damage to them the poor chickens died of fright after a great deal of clucking, so here was I facing chicken armageddon & a springer spaniel that was very pleased with himself.

So now my bank holiday plans of basically sitting by the BBQ burning meat, drinking beer & indulging in my new found love of sub ohming on my Smok OSUB went right out the window. How was I going to explain this to the neighbours & how was I going to prevent it happening again?

It took about 30 ml of Sinful from Mile High Drip to decide that I had to construct Gloucestershire’s answer to the Berlin Wall between our properties, so a wallet emptying visit to B&Q ensued even if they do not supply searchlights, machine guns or landmines.

berlin wall

Blood, sweat, tears & much cussing followed for most of the weekend before I was able to proudly look at my handiwork & say not only will the bastard not be able to get at the chickens but there was also no way that the neighbours could get in to get at me. Eric was pretty pissed off & spent several minutes prowling up & down, occasionally hurling himself at the gate, biting wire & trying to pull it down before trotting down to the bottom of the ditch & jumping 6 feet to place his paws on top of a fence post & haul himself over into the chicken’s field. Resulting in extremely smug dog & myself bemoaning the fact that B&Q do not supply machine guns, searchlights or landmines.

Eric is now banished to the shop or tied up in the garden as he clearly cannot be trusted not to collect chickens for me especially as I prefer them from my local farmer who supplies them plucked, gutted, feet less & headless.

Back in the world of vaping which had taken a bit of a backseat to Eric, I was particularly struck by the alarmist nonsense that most of our national newspapers decided to report as factual without seemingly performing any checks with full marks going to The Sun for their headline “VAPING AS BAD AS FAGS” clearly their journalists know better than both Public Health England & the Royal College of Physicians who have unequivocally said otherwise


In my quest for the truth in many such matters often put out as facts by people working with or for the big tobacco & pharmaceutical companies I have come across a gentleman by the name of Clive Bates who is absolutely brilliant at cutting through much of the nonsense that is peddled & I cannot recommend strongly enough that you either follow him via his website (link below) or twitter. He deserves the support of every vaper.




The Dark Side, Sex & Advice

I can’t believe that I am telling you this but I may have moved over to the dark side & have actually been sub ohm vaping. As an unreconstructed 60 a day Rothmans smoker that has only ever wanted to recreate that sensation this has been a major step for me, not that I am saying that I have totally given up my Nautilus x tanks with tobacco flavoured e juices altogether but I have definitely added another option into my armory of vaping devices.


I blame it all on the sheer unadulterated beauty of the Smok Osub which is such that I just had to have one. However the fatal flaw in this desire is that it is a sub ohm piece of kit & I didn’t sub ohm. Well I do now & I am still getting a childish amount pleasure from disappearing behind a humongous cloud of vapour that tastes of Danish Pastries. In the past when I have tried to inhale direct to lung (technical speak alert) it played havoc with my brain because you would never do that with a Rothmans King Size & it made me cough up large bits of my lungs on the carpet. Determination is an amazing thing when directed constructively & my desire to own & use a Smok Osub meant that I was able to crack it eventually.


Who knows but maybe in a few weeks time I will let my beard grow straggly, covered myself in tattoos & wear a baseball cap back to front so that I can do some competitive vaping without feeling out of place.

Looking at this with my commercial (greedy) hat on, I have been totally gobsmacked by the amount of juice that I have been using compared to my historical mouth to lung (sorry more technical speak) vaping & I can see an argument for sending all our mouth to lung customers somewhere else until they have seen the light & want to spend 4 times as much on juice with us. Note to the incredibly gorgeous Stacey Dunne, there is no need to kneecap me as I am only joking! We love all of our customers equally.

Talking of equal love, I was most excited to see the picture of an attractive young lady who had liked my blog so obviously I wanted to know more & when I clicked on her name there was a message claiming that she wanted to have sex with me & suggesting that I visited her personal website. Now even at my great age with rapidly advancing senility, I know that blog writing is not renowned as a pulling tool & felt that maybe this offer, kind as it may be, was disingenuous & reluctantly hit the spam button.  Now I am worried that if any of my readers genuinely want to have sex with me that they are going to go straight in the spam bin without me knowing about it & this is bound to give me sleepless nights.


We are no further forward with the cowboys at Chess Telecom (please refer to previous post) but unlike the incredibly clever Stacey Dunne who has been putting together free ebook guides on our website, I going to give some free advice which is under no circumstances have anything to do with Chess Telecom.